Fani Meyrina

siang ini ceritanya tadi pergi sama kakak cowok gue ke tempat "Dina travel" di deket arion naik motor dari rumahku -.- dan di tengah jalan, tiba-tiba ayah gue nelfon ditengah jalan.
papa : fani, dimana?
fani   : di jalan pa sama safril abis dari travel
papa : oh, trus fani udah daftar unj tadi, nak?
fani   : iya pa udah kok tadi di bank, papa dimana?masih dirumah?
papa : udah di jalan papa, yaudah uangnya tadi udah papa titip di feby ya. jadi fani ga usah kasih ke feby lagi. dapet ke makassar tanggal berapa?
fani   : iya pa makasih. tanggal 23 pa jam 10.30  papa pulang kapan?
papa : papa pulang hari jumat malem. yaudah fani sekarang belajar yang bener ya biar ga sia-sia semuanya   jangan main main terus ya. buat papa juga nak.
fani   : (diem sejenak) ha iya pa.
papa : yaudah udah dulu ya salamualaikum
fani   :walaikumsalam pa.

setelah telfon singkat tadi tiba-tiba gue nangis. ga tau kenapa langsung ngucur aja gitu di muka gue. berapa kali gue usaha berapa kali juga gue gagal. dan berapa kali bokap gue ngasih uang pendaftaran tapi sampai sekarang gue belum bisa balikin dengan kata "anda diterima" ya Allah rasanya ga enak banget bokap ngomong kayak gitu pas dia mau pergi.



I hope someday I can repay all your sacrifices, Dad




.

there was someone who poured out her heart to me, "This holiday is not it? what I know is that everyone would be happy when the holidays arrive. but not for me. I do not know what happened to me. but I think I already do not know how to feel happy. This has happened almost less than two months. it seems I was depressed at the moment. I do not know what I was thinking that I feel this. which I know is I'm tired of being a very emotional person, muttering to himself, and I'm tired of being not myself . I just want to own. not with anyone for now until some time in the future. I'm not want to do anything with anyone else. you know? I'm really really tired. you ever get depressed? and some people will end by suicide. okay, it's getting muddy atmosphere.
actually many of which became my mind all these years. and maybe I just want to go somewhere, myself and clear my mind. I want to hurry hurry to go to my dream city. I wanted to cry. I need something that can really calm me down. Can you tell me?? "




and actually I could just tell ... probably should be grateful for what there is in this life and start thinking positive. and calm your heart: D